Rudy Giuliani’s Daughter Explains Why She Loves Being the ‘Unicorn’ in Threesomes

Love Rudy Giulani or hate him, support him or oppose him, if there's one thing we can all agree on it's that 20 years after he was being universally hailed as "America's Mayor," no one has had a worse 12 months than him. When he wasn't running point on futile efforts to stop his biggest client from getting impeached, he was getting punked by Borat, holding press conferences in parking lots because he thought Four Seasons Landscaping was the Four Seasons hotel, having hair dye run down the side of his head and cracking farts in the middle of congressional hearings about the integrity of our elections. 

That's more than any career politician should be expected to handle. So if there's anyone who could use a little good news, it's Rudy Giulani. Fortunately, he has some. It's the news of knowing that his daughter has published an article in Vanity Fair called, "A Unicorn’s Tale: Three-Way Sex With Couples Has Made Me a Better Person."  There has to be a lot of comfort in a polarizing 76-year-old public figure who's spent the last few years in turmoil reading in his 32-year-old daughter's own words how she's found peace and happiness joining couples for threesome sex. 

Let's let Page Six summarize:

Hizzoner’s daughter Caroline Rose Giuliani openly discusses her sexual escapades with other couples.

The piece, which opens with the words, “I want to watch my boyfriend bend you over,”    Caroline — the 32-year-old daughter of Rudy Giuliani with Donna Hanover — writes, “I had known some time I was at least bisexual but had barely explored that side of my sexuality. I knew I wanted to experience new dynamics.”

After signing up for a dating site for “Unicorns” — women who agree to have sex with couples — Caroline writes, “One woman I chatted with mentioned she was looking for someone to dominate her but be submissive to her boyfriend.

“I am typically more sexually submissive, but as we were texting (which quickly turned into sexting), I tried on this authoritative sexual persona.

“I was pleased to discover that, having been submissive myself, finding the language to turn Isabella on came naturally to me.”

After meeting the couple in a bar she describes in detailed literature, “We went back to their place. At one point Oliver and I had sex while Isabella watched – actively. She was a ‘cuckqueen’ which is a woman who enjoys role-playing ‘humiliation’ this way. 

“Many aspects of the encounter were pleasurable and fun, but the most engrossing sensation was feeling Oliver’s palpable love for Isabella…..his desire to fulfill her was the deeper motivation for filling me.”

Caroline concludes that after the experience she identifies as “pansexual”, and admitting she has battled anxiety and depression her entire life, she writes, “The incredible moments of connection and transformation I’ve shared with these couples reminds me that my expansive mind is a gift.”

And the most predictable words ever posted on the internet:

Rudy Giuliani was not immediately available for comment.

I can't speak for The Mayor. But I think I can speak for all of us across the great political chasm that divides us, this is a pure good. We are happy for Caroline that she's found a positive, natural way to battle the anxiety and depression that has plagued her. That she's found happiness in empowering cuckqueens by boning their husbands in front of them. That she used her own motivations as a submissive to find the right words to please other submissives. And that she's found a way to fulfill her own motivation by fulfilling those of others. 

Her expansive mind is a gift that has brought happiness to these couples. To us. And I'm sure to her famous, though extremely controversial dad. 

Everyone talks about a way for us to all come together. Rudy Giuliani's daughter is actually doing something about it.